The Unintended Consequences of Apologizing

Do any of these sound familiar?

Hey, guys—sorry my hair’s a mess.

Sorry, I’m not wearing my makeup right now.

Sorry, I look terrible today.

Sorry I look so tired.

Have you noticed? Women apologize…A LOT!

This isn’t something to be ashamed of—it’s something to get curious about.

If you’ve ever said any of the above apologies during a Facebook/Instagram Live, YouTube video, or meeting you’re attending, it’s a great opportunity to ask yourself why.

Why do you need to apologize for looking the way you do?

Personally, I don’t find myself apologizing out loud for how I look, but I do find myself being silently self-critical sometimes.

And you know what?

The only thing that has ever truly helped me with this is realizing the following:

Not approving of how I look is, in a way, saying that there is a standard of how women should look and that I don’t meet that standard.

To truly give all women the freedom to look exactly the way they do, I will decide that how I look is just fine—just like how others look is just fine.

When I become accepting of my appearance, I’m accepting every woman’s appearance.

It’s easier said than done, but it’s something that’s helped me a lot!

So, the next time you’re on video or showing up to a meeting, notice if you start apologizing for how you look, and then get curious about it.

Ask yourself, What message am I sending if I think that looking like this isn’t okay?

And then OWN that imperfect hair, tired eyes, and no-makeup look!

It may be hard to do at first, but the more you do it, the more it becomes a habit.

And the more it becomes a habit, the more kindness you’re able to show yourself and give freedom to the women around you.